Examining Our Relationship with Rest

“As leaders of color desiring to lead in countercultural ways, experiencing rest is essential.” ~ Blessing Uchendu

In our culture, many people exist within a space of constant productivity and busyness. We prioritize work above all else and often adhere to the (un)spoken belief that we earn the right to rest. And even when we recognize its need and significance, shifting our perspectives and behaviors can be difficult.

This isn't an individual or personal failure -- it's systemic. From societal pressure to racism, economic adversity to collective trauma, we all have had a turbulent relationship with rest. This is especially true for Untapped Leaders and people with marginalized identities. 

To transform our relationship with rest, and by extension, our relationship with ourselves and our bodies, we first need to understand where we are. How do we experience and engage with rest? What beliefs and perspectives do we hold? How are those perspectives and experiences impacting our leadership? 

What is Rest

For most people, rest is synonymous with sleep, but in reality, it’s much more than that. Rest is anything that allows us to disconnect from the demands of our daily lives and restore our energy. This can look different for different people, their needs, and preferences. 

Sleep is one part of this process, but so are many other activities. Taking time to settle your mind from the constant stream of thoughts -- both positive and negative is rest. So is disconnecting from social media and stepping away from work and into nature or other restorative spaces. Saying no to people, places, or activities that drain or exhaust you is a way to rest. Likewise, reconnecting with your community, your body, or spiritual practice is rest too. 

How Our Identities Impact Our Relationship with Rest

Understanding how our identities intersect with rest can help us recognize and address the challenges we face in prioritizing rest and engaging in restorative activities. While anyone living in (American) society has experience with the deprioritizing of rest, our identities have a significant impact on how we individually view, prioritize, and access it. 

For many Black people and people of color, systemic barriers due to economic inequality, racism, and even a lack of access to resources can manifest as pressure to avoid rest. For women, the societal expectations to prioritize caretaking and putting others before themselves leads to less time and energy for rest. Our cultural backgrounds and traditions also impact how we view rest. While many cultures value a slower pace of life and prioritize naps and breaks throughout the day, there are others still that prioritize productivity and working long hours. 

Even our personal beliefs and experiences about rest play a role in our relationship with it. It’s not uncommon for children of immigrants to feel increased pressure to work hard. Others may hold onto beliefs about not being worthy or deserving of rest. And for others still, with physical or mental illness, rest can be difficult to pursue or accept. 

How to Rest

Despite these challenges, reimagining our relationship with rest is possible. Intentional actions and somatic practices, such as those Blessing Uchendu shared with us during our Rest: The Essential Ingredient to Sustained Leadership workshop, can help us create a healthier foundation with rest at the center. Here's how you can start:

  1. Start where you are. Think about your life, personal experiences, and cultural background, and identify practices you already have to begin prioritizing rest. 

  2. Look towards others. Many people, cultures, and traditions promote rest. Find practices that feel aligned and begin to incorporate them into your daily life. 

  3. Explore restful activities beyond sleep. There are many ways to experience rest without sleep. Journaling, meditating, yoga, spending time in nature, and connecting with community are all ways to rest and recharge. 

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